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Demons & Pearls (The Razor's Adventures Book 1) Page 10
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His left eye peeked out at me again, and I leaned back and smiled to myself, inside and out. I wanted his stories—all of them. I wanted to know about the storms, fist fights, brawls, any confrontation he’d faced, and I hoped he had the tolerance to waste his time telling them to me. As I leaned back and a light breeze began to blow across us, I realized that this day was the first in as long as I could recall that I wasn’t waiting for something horrible to happen. The last time I’d ever been so relaxed with my head so clear was the morning before the Spanish raid in Charles Towne, when I’d bested Uncle William for the first, and last, time at swords.
“Razz?”
“Yes, Ivan.”
“Can I tell you something?”
“Since I left my dagger in the dingy, go on.”
“You’re the first man I’ve ever been alone with since I was a little girl who hasn’t…tried to hurt me. My uncle was the most wonderful man I’ve ever known. I believed there weren’t any more decent men left living since the night he died. I think I was wrong.” The words fell from my mouth like chunks of mud. I had never allowed myself to think of men as anything but the enemy since I was thirteen. I held my uncle in such high regard, that once he was gone, I took up a sword with both my hand and my heart and hadn’t laid it down until this very day.
“Did he teach you to fight like ye do?”
“Yes. We were always in danger, yet he never let on about it. His stories were the reason I so badly wanted to come here. I believe in his former life, he was a lot like you, or maybe even a buccaneer. Even in his older age, I think he thought he could protect us, so we were none the wiser. To me, teaching me to fight was a game we played. We didn’t live in constant fear. We were happy, and I believed all little girls knew how to fight—until I nearly broke the arm of a girl in school when she pulled my hair.”
“Pulled your hair? I’d say that’s deserving of a broken arm.” He laughed.
I chuckled. “My uncle said she was jealous. He said when girls were cruel, that meant you had something they wish they had. He said in my case it was my hair, but that it wasn’t a good enough reason to break her arm,” I said, again with a laugh.
“This uncle of yours sounds like he was a very smart man. Keep that arm breaking thing handy, lass. I’d like to see that someday.”
“The razor was his. I used to shave him. He said I had the steadiest hand he’d ever seen, and that a steady hand with a razor was good for both shaving and cutting.”
“But you didn’t understand it then, did you?” he asked as he untied his arms from his broad chest and turned towards me at last.
“I suppose somewhere deep inside of me I did, but now I know he was simply preparing me for the worst. Someday, will you go with me back to England, Razz? It’s been so long I can’t even remember what it looks like. I figure since I’d been dying to come to Jamaica for as long as I can remember and, well, I’m here now; so someday, I’d like to see where I was born.” I wasn’t sure what I’d said that disturbed him, but he turned his back to the tree again and wrapped his arms up tight. “We’ll see what the future brings, little Razor.”
“Oh Razz, look,” I shouted as I jumped to my feet. I must have startled him because he reached up, grabbed me, and tossed me to the sand behind him.
He was nearly on top of me, shouting, “What? What is it, lass?”
“Dolphins! Dolphins! What are you doing?” I screeched from beneath him. “Get off me, you big idiot!”
“Dammit, girl! Don’t ever put a scare in me like that.” He turned his face to me and groaned, then rolled off and moved back into his spot.
“I’m sorry,” I said lowering my head. “I was just excited. Aren’t they good luck? Maybe it’s a sign?” I shrugged as I stood to brush the sand away from my clothes. I felt horrible for shouting at him and calling him an idiot. He wasn’t anything of the sort. He was only trying to protect me.
“Ye spooked me, lass. I didn’t mean to rough ye up. It’s my nature, as I said.”
I turned and looked down at him and smiled. “Not today, and not here. Tell your nature to take a holiday. Today is for dolphins and sun and new mates.”
“New mates.” He pulled up his knees and embraced them, staring off at the bouncy silver animals as they passed by.
“So, do you have a lady?” I asked as I drug the toes of my right foot through the sand in front of him.
“Aye, that I do.”
I immediately asked myself why I’d even asked that question when I knew I’d be let down hard by the answer. I had to admit there was no way a man such as Rasmus wouldn’t have a line of ladies, or even the other sort of women, in Port Royal waiting for him to look their way. I already admired him, and just being near him filled me with warmth and strength. As hard as I tried to deny it, there was something happening between us, and I somehow already knew he felt it too. Even with his coolness towards me and his smart remarks, I knew a man like Big Red wouldn’t waste a second of his time on anyone he didn’t feel was worthy.
“A wife?”
“Never married.”
“Really? I hadn’t thought you the kind of man who’d take a lady’s honor without making the offer of marriage.”
“I have two ladies, little Razor, my ship and the sea. You’d be right in what ye said, too. I’ll not deny that I’ve sought comfort in the same ways as any man, more than once or twice. But to ask a good woman to sit idle while I go traipsing all over the Caribbean dodging that gun shot that will someday silence the pounding in my head without marrying her? It seems more to expect than even I’m worthy of.” He looked up at me and winked.
“If I’m speaking as a woman now, I will tell you I think you’d be plenty worthy of waiting for, but you don’t need my opinion. I doubt you’ll ever see me as a lady with everything you know about me already.” I lowered my head and dug my toes into the large heart I’d been making in the sand and swiped it away.
“We should head back. I’ve never seen another ship pass by here, but there’s always a first time.”
I held out my hand for him to leverage himself to stand, and when he took it, the texture of his palm sent a shiver up my spine. It felt like walking on the beach. Here I was, standing in the scorching heat, and my skin had turned to gooseflesh. I believed I could feel his heartbeat through his hand, and even after he stood, our palms remained clenched together and our eyes locked. Something unspoken, yet deeply felt, passed between us, and I uttered the words, “Yes, there’s always a first time.”
I knew he’d felt everything as I did when he suddenly let go and trotted off ahead of me, as usual. “Dammit, Big Red!” I shouted as I ran to catch up. “Why do you do that?”
“Dolphins aren’t good luck. At least to me they aren’t. I truly believe I have the worst luck of any man God ever created.”
“Why’s that?” I huffed and puffed as I had to walk in double time just to stay on his heels. Suddenly, he came to a complete stop, and I ran smack into his back and bounced off onto my arse.
He turned and looked down at me, shaking his head. He blew up his chest and dug his knuckles into his hips and said, “I finally find who I think may be the woman I’ve been waiting half my life for, and not only does she want to be a man, she wants to be a pirate, too.” He stepped back towards the water in the wet sand. “You do know I brought you here in hopes I could convince you to put this pirate idea out of your head and maybe even to find out if ye like me a bit.” His eyes squinted at me, and his right brow dipped over his eye.
“I am a pirate, Razz, and I don’t want to be a man, I have to be. The world may have all the blame for that. I believe you already know I like you, or I wouldn’t be here right now. As far as me being that one woman, well, you’re just a big fat-headed man, so don’t even think I’ll be throwing my head at you. I’m a killer, remember? How could you or any other man ever see me as anything else?” I crossed my arms and turned away from him.
“You’re a fickle one, but I’ll not
hold it against you. You’ve got guts and obviously some training in how to fight. I don’t know what I was thinking. Must be my broken skull playing tricks on me again. Oh, and by the way…yes, you’re a killer, alright; but then, so am I.”
I, on the other hand, knew exactly what I was thinking, but it didn’t matter anymore. I had more important worries than some doomed romance with Big Red, but I also knew now how he really felt, and I couldn’t deny that I liked it. How much I liked it scared me. It made me think of things I’d been pushing away since I first saw his eyes twinkle in that lantern light and watched those thick, rough palms stroke his beard. I was terrified, denying to myself that I wanted him to take me in his arms right that minute and kiss me.
Why, oh why, did he have to be so damn beautiful and strong and wonderful, anyway? He was a pirate, and I knew I could never be that lady waiting for him, even if I said he was worthy of it. Even after our short time together, I knew with every bone in my body that he was worth more than ten men his size. I did know that if I was capable of love—which was something I never thought possible—I could easily love this man, and as that thought took up residence in my brain, I reminded myself who, and what, he was.
Chapter Eleven
~The Cat and The Rat~
Big Red was a difficult man to understand. To say his moods were like night and day would be far too simple an explanation. They were more like the seasons or the tides that carried him through the world. Knowing what he’d been doing with his life for a while now, as well as the fact that he’d been a royal naval officer before turning pirate, I imagined the phases he’d been through in his life had caused him to evolve, just as mine had. He did have a good ten-year head start on me from the looks of him, but in both our worlds we didn’t count the years, we counted the scars.
Watching him at work aboard the Oyster was almost like witnessing a conductor leading an orchestra. He rushed about making adjustments to the lines and handed the rudder off to me once we reached the open water, and he’d set the course he knew so well. I was beginning to understand what drew men to the sea. The focus required to maintain such a vessel, and keep her right side up and her sails full of wind, left no room for thoughts of minor things that could chew away at a man’s mind when idle. I did still wonder what went on inside his head. I knew there were more things than I’d ever understand. In the brief time I’d known him, the only thoughts that passed his lips were meaningful, and he wouldn’t waste one breath on trifling conversation.
He shouted heartily at me with glee when he knew I felt it. The ship and I became one. The rudder became an extension of my arm. Soon, I was so comfortable that I could hold her steady and keep the main sail full of wind. Rasmus stood balanced on the bow with his back to me, facing the sea with his arms folded, and he rode her for quite a while without so much as a wobble. I couldn’t resist the urge to tip him, and I pulled a bit to the portside, catching him with a good spray, but I was kidding myself to think a bit of water could move this mountain. Instead of the wobble I’d wanted, he turned at the waist and gave me a smirk and turned back, following his own orders to never turn your back on the sea.
He called back to me, “Six knots, Ivan! Six.” As if I’d managed some incredible feat. I was proud, and the rumbles and shakes the sloop sent up my legs went straight to my heart when she cut across the gentle waves. Every now and then, those trembles gave me a start, but when Big Red shouted at me to trust her and to trust myself, I swallowed hard, held on tight, and let her do most of the work. As long as I kept her steady and followed my Captain’s orders, the only shudders I felt were those akin to the flapping of a seagull’s wings as it flew by.
As we drifted closer to the port, I informed Rasmus of everything I knew of Millie McCormack and all that River had shared with me. He leaned back quietly as I spoke and hardly moved an eyebrow. I rambled away with excitement, until the sun sat low as we tied her off back at the dock. He suffered through my yapping until we set foot on the pier and then generously offered to buy me dinner, to which I declined. I imagined with Millie coming apart at her seams, I should hurry back to the McCormack’s and make sure the girls were alright. I had made River promise he’d keep them safe until I returned. I had told the young pirate that I had a scheme in which I would rely on him heavily, once it was set into motion. After having been the cabin boy of a cruel and detached man such as Barclay, only to end up a lowly hand on the Demon, my word to reward him for his loyalty to me had put a twinkle in his eye. My only fear was that, as he’d blown his guts to me, he would in turn blow them to Rip.
“How soon may I bring them to you?” I asked.
“Ivory, I’ve allowed you to go on and on about your plan to save these girls, but my plans are as they’ve always been—Nassau or America.”
“You live aboard the Oyster, don’t you? Why can’t they just stay there until we can find them a place to live?”
“I suppose if I weren’t looking over my shoulder every moment of the day, that may work. But, unless ye haven’t been listening—which wouldn’t surprise me in the least— my days in this business are numbered. My identity and the Oyster have become too exposed. Word’s travelled about what I’ve been up to, and if I don’t get out of this business, someone is going to take me out of it. Barclay figured out it was me taking the girls, and I had to outrun him more than once. I know he shared that information as far as he could, so get it through your head, lass. You’re going to Nassau, and that’s the end of it.”
“You run to protect them, not out of fear. Like you said, she’s the fastest sloop in these waters. Why can’t we just get away, perhaps to your little paradise?”
“The cat catches the rat eventually, my little Razor. This rat isn’t about to get gobbled up by the sea, and I want to stay in one piece for as long as I can. I have my own plans for that little piece of paradise. I’d like to pass this torch off to someone and make a run back up to Boston at some point; the sooner the better. I’ve got a bit of money stashed away in a bank up there.”
“You see, now there’s the difference between you and I. I knew there had to be at least one.”
“And what difference might that be?” he asked. He stopped when we turned into an alley off Market Street and leaned back against a stone wall, out of the first drops of rain.
“Gold, loot, booty…call it what you will, but none of it means a damn thing to me. I’m in this for freedom.” I folded my arms and leaned back against the wall next to him.
“Now just a second there, lass. That money is for my old age...if I’m lucky enough to have one.”
“Then, let me ask you this, Razz; what is it about the sea that has kept you sailing her for so many years? You don’t strike me as the type of man who enjoys killing and stealing. You don’t dress flashy as say, Barclay, or even Willy. You don’t adorn yourself with rings and fancy hats and gold chains. So, what keeps you raising those sails and pulling on that rudder, besides helping Willy save these girls?”
“Someday I’ll fill all the holes in for ye, if we live long enough, but I’ll tell you this much; I didn’t choose a pirate’s life. It chose me. Everything that happened after that day was simply to pay back those who had wronged me. In time, I’ll give you the answers, but not tonight.”
“I can understand that, since much the same happened to me. I wish you’d give me the answers. I want them. I need them,” I pleaded.
“On land I am a stranger and an oddity, as if my feet don’t know which way to go without water under them. I wasn’t forced by any man into that life, and I say “that” life because I no longer consort with pirates as I once did. Circumstances were beyond my control, and I found myself with only one place to turn. The one place I knew better than any other, in a position I was groomed to hold—captain of a ship. It didn’t matter what ship or whose. I once wore a uniform with pride, but it was stripped from me. Had it not been, you and I would not be having this conversation, out of the rain in this alley.”
&nbs
p; “So you are telling me you’re some sort of…honorable pirate?”
“Yes, I am still that honorable man, regardless of my recent history, at least in my heart. But in in the King’s world, I am no more than a fugitive. In that world, I am still a pirate, which makes me worth more dead than alive.”
His voice was deep and quiet, and I knew it was coming from somewhere he hadn’t planned to take me. I pressed him, and I struggled with myself for pressuring him the way I was. I could stand there out of the rain forever and listen to his tale of woe but was ashamed because I didn’t think I could ever share my own with him—if he ever felt the notion to ask.
“We don’t have much time, lass,” Rasmus said to me as he pulled up from the wall and started off down the alley.
“Must you always make me chase after you?”
“I believe you’re doing the chasing of your own free will.”
“Please stop.” I halted and threw my arms down at my sides in exasperation. “If you must take them to Nassau to the safe house, then fine. However, I want to find a home here in Port Royal. In time, I’ll bring them back over here.”
“Why here? What’s so damned important about being here?” He threw his hands up and shouted over the rain.
“That’s for me to know…for now.”
“No, you’ll tell me now,” he growled, rushing up to me and snatching me by the arm. “You’ll have to pardon my temper over this, but since I risk my neck saving girls your age from this place, it just doesn’t sit right with me when they come here of their own free will.”
“Let me go and I’ll tell you,” I said, and he released my arm. I glared up at him. When I didn’t open my mouth and answer him fast enough, he again walked away from me down the alley, and I shouted at him, “I told you I believed my uncle was a buccaneer. He used to tell me romantic and adventurous stories about this place. I hated it in America. I didn’t want to stay there and either become an old spinster, or worse, be forced to marry some man I didn’t love because society told me I had to. I didn’t want that for any of us. All I knew was the word Uncle William used again and again; freedom.”